[ladyjane7777@yahoo.com]

I am sorry to hear what your wife went through. I was sexually abused as a baby and a child. I had no self esteem. It took years for me to like myself again. I went through one relationship to the next thinking that i was not good enough for anyone. I got my strength back trough My Lord Jesus, but this does not work for everyone i know that. You are doing what you need to be doing loving her the way that you do. Its up to her to love herself. She needs to get professional help, and just be the loving husband that you already are. My heart goes out to you and you wife. God bless

[latietee]

These words you've used to describe your wife are touching. Have you told them to her? Being a victim of abuse is not something one gets over easily. She has to forgive the abuser(s) and herself. Most abuse victims feel that they are the cause. Maybe you should suggest she see a therapist so she can let go of the hurt and realize it was not her fault.Tell her that what happened to her was not her fault and if she doesn't let go, it will rob of the joy she should be experiencing as a wife and mother. You seem like a very loving husband. Surprise her with flowers or "something beautiful for your beauty." Tell her how much you appreciate and love her kind soul.

[Nicholas H]

There really isn't much you can do to help a woman's self esteem. They go through natural hormonal changes on a daily basis that I think throws them off a bit, however there are some factors I believe help women to deal with this common problem. Just try to remind her of the good qualities that both of you know she has. Tell her shes beautiful when you think shes having a bad day, but most of all be persistent with all of these things don't let her hate herself for a long period of time or she could fall into a depression which is alot worse than just a self esteem problem. Stand by her and help her when you can and shes sure to get out of her rut.

[BeDiGiTaL07]

Just keep trying, its pretty sad but she may never recover depending on the degree of abuse she has suffered as a child. Just keep trying to find ways to make her happy. Create a " for mom Day " where you and your child can focus only on her. Maybe a spa treatment would help her relax and at least ease her mind for a few hours, nothing like having people at a spa Worship you for a few hours. But make sure its a reputable place with very nice people. Try something different, maybe dress up or role playing for the Husband and Wife time. She may never be comfortable in her own skin, per say, so maybe try on a new skin at night. French maid or what have you. Strip dance for her even, even if its just to make her luagh. luaghter does the soul good, all the time. You say she has been abused, thats an extreme situation, you need to find the opposite extreme and work at it for some time, after she starts to come back maybe she will find a medium between how she used to feel, and how she felt on those mommy days. People that have dealt with abuse often do not believe happiness is something they can grasp, you have to show her that it can. in my opinion some might often feel worthless aswell, well you know that simply is not true, give her a few days off, meaning she does nothing but things for herself, and struggle to keep up with the normal household duties so she can feel that " wow they do need me " that can maybe help aswell.In short, stand by her no matter what and do not give up, she sounds like a wonderful person and deserves no less. you cannot give up on her, sounds like its you and your child thats keeping her going so far, she cannot lose you guys.Find out if there is something she always wanted to do as a child that she did not get too, sounds like her childhood was non existent, create a new one, act like a bunch of kids, have some fun man. Holloween is a good time to try this out, she gets to get out of her skin, and gets to do something a child would do, both of you dress up and go trick or treating, i guarantee youll get some luaghs. Experience something new, go on a nice vacation, somewhere beautiful with alot of scenery, have her take a look at it, ask her how does this make you feel, when she responds with " its incredibly beatuful, i feel so alive just looking around " kiss her on the forehead and tell her, that is what looking at you does for me.i can do this all day, i think i need some love myself =)..Make her luagh, do whatever it takes and make her luagh.